babywen

2012-01-17T21:01:00.001+08:00

意想不到的是，我怎么能笑得那么自然。看起来就能感受到照片里的我的“开心“。

时不时就看看那张照片，我真的觉得很不可思议。因为我从来都没看过哪张照片可以让我看了照片里的我有的这种感觉。每次都觉得我笑得不好看，不自然。每一次看到这张照片时，我都能可以感觉到那时的笑脸是那么的灿烂与开心。真的，我从来都没看过这样的我。

竟然是在跟你的合照才让自己其实也能笑得好看。

2011-12-15T20:35:00.001+08:00

我是一个很喜欢吃的一个人。叫我因为减肥不吃，根本是不可能的事情。宁愿做多一点运动都不会牺牲“吃“的享受。不会舍得花钱买什么但很舍得花在食物上。可是我发现那么喜欢吃的我却会因为不开心而一整天都不吃也不觉得饿。

当影响你的人还是能照所常的吃，睡，玩，开开心心过日子，但我却因为影响我的举动不吃，不开心，不睡觉。只证明了我不够爱自己。我也很想多爱自己一点但就是做不到。爱我关心的人多过爱自己。我可以放弃自己喜欢的给别人。从小就是这样了。

不知道是好还是坏但事实就是这样。

2011-12-02T00:46:00.001+08:00

心痛

posted from Bloggeroid

2011-12-01T19:22:00.001+08:00

第三次了。。。要死掉的感觉。。。我病了吗？

2011-11-30T23:14:00.001+08:00

对，我什么都不懂，我幼稚。。

因为我笨，才喜欢你。。。

2011-11-22T19:07:00.001+08:00

有一次，有一个驾洋灰车的叔叔在下洋灰的时候和我聊天。。。聊着聊着就聊到他自己以前有一阵子吃素几年了。那时他的老婆一直不孕，终于怀孕了，好开心。可是在生产时，脐带勒着婴儿的脖子而夭折。从此他就不吃素了。因为他觉得上天在玩弄他。

过了一阵子，冷静下来才想开。虽然想起的时候还感到隐隐约约的痛，但很多事是注定的。现在虽然没有吃长素，但有时还会吃上一两餐。想开了不是因该会吃长素了吗？他的理由是吃素的人比较善良，常常吃亏，被欺负。

虽然没说出口，但我就想到一个故事:
两个人死了。上帝问他们，如果你有的选择，你会想要一辈子给钱还是拿钱？甲先生回达“拿钱啦!“ 乙先生就回答“给钱“。两个人就开开心心的投胎去了。
甲先生投胎在一个很贫苦的家庭，当乞丐，每天向有钱人讨饭，拿钱。乙先生就投胎在富贵的家庭里，每天就看到贫苦的人就施舍自己的钱财。

如果什么都没有要什么给？

2011-11-18T19:18:00.001+08:00

因为一直感到没有安全感，自己越越不像自己。。。经过了那么多次的教训，应该会慢慢接受残忍的事实了吧？。。。

常常都把一些别人不当成一回事的事看得好重要。也许别人还是开开心心的，只是自己不高兴，耿耿于怀。。真的没必要吧？也许一开始，自己把别人看得比自己还重要才会难过吧。。

感觉好像一年一年的过，我对于人类的信心越来越少了。你发现人人都因为保护自己伤害别人，无论是故意或是无意，小伤害或是大打击，说谎，背叛，利用，等等。。。

哈哈。。。好像说到世界没好人了。。。

2011-10-29T15:16:00.001+08:00

为什么考试不及格就要重考呢？因为考试是其中一个试验你是否真正了解你所学的。。。

在人生中有好多起起落落，因为都有好多各种各样的“考试“，让你更加坚强，成长。。遇到一样不顺心的事当然就是在告诉你，你还没通过，必须加油。。。

永远都会有事让你不开心，会有好多不顺心的事拼命的发生。但要记得告诉自己因为你还活着，只要活着每天都是学习的开始。

要是因为学习而烦恼，不如慢慢接受这痛苦的过程，吸取一些经验。。。

2011-10-21T13:05:00.001+08:00

agony

2011-10-15T07:48:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it just made people feel helpless when you did everything but it's not helping to not change anything... It just kept drifting far from u...
When the last thing u ever wanted to do is it accept it, you are forced to accept it.... With grace...

agony....

2011-09-27T17:24:00.001+08:00

会影响我们的事有很多。。。也有很多事是我们不能改变的。。。最主要的是，我们要怎么控制自己。

很多时候，让你不开心的事一连串的发生。你知道你不能要求改变或是改变什么，可是你总可以控制自己。

对于情绪化的人来说便是一种“高难度“挑战。可是当你度过每一次的难关，你会发现自己在每一次的“辛苦“，“痛苦“和“难过“中成长了许多。。。人们常常说，“成长是件痛苦的事“ 。。。因为当我们渐渐长大时，我们会发现有很多事都是在我们舒适区外的事物在等着我们去做。很多事不再是任性的说“我要!“ 就能得到，再讨厌的事都要咬紧牙根去做。

当那些不属于我们舒适区范围的事物慢慢变成一件很自然的事后，我们也会发现自己的舒适区其实在不知不觉中扩大了。

只要你能给自己一个机会，不放弃，你就是在向往成长的过程迈进。

加油!

2011-09-19T18:50:00.001+08:00

让自己痛苦的罪魁祸首是自己。。

2011-09-17T18:22:00.001+08:00

做工的时候，突然我觉得特别的难受，感觉好像快要死掉的感觉。。一点都不夸张。突然觉得呼吸在多的空气好像都不够，心跳特别快。比刚刚跑完步还难受!

不是身体出现了问题，而是我的情感直接影响到我的身体。好久没这样了。最后一次是在中学的时候，在我最低潮与难过的时候。可是那时没这么严重，这么辛苦。。。

希望不会在这样了。。。因为真的有要死掉的感觉。

2011-09-16T07:48:00.001+08:00

我一直有一种感觉，一种慢难受的感觉。可是我不知道它叫什么。是我太过敏感？想太多？也许吧。可是一个掌声是因两个手掌拍打的。。

真真假假，我已经不懂得怎么辨认了。。我不知道很多事，很多。。也许不知道比知道来得好。。可是为什么感到一厢情愿越来越强？是否因为我的举动已经是理所当然？或者一开始是觉得新鲜，现在已经对我了如指掌，觉得厌烦了？

好多问题一直在脑里玩捉迷藏。它是件痛苦的事。我很想什么都不想。就一天过一天，等到那天的来临。可是没人知道这也是件痛苦的事。它就好像你跌倒了，你知道哭泣不会有用，所以不哭。可是你无法停止感到疼痛。

感觉上不管现在我在做什么都不会有用。。因为我已经是自己情感上的魔鬼。。

2011-09-11T09:55:00.003+08:00

大家都喜欢做自己比较厉害或是能发挥的事... 可是别忘了, 要进步就要"攻自己的弱点"... 就好比课业不好就要补习... "攻自己的弱点"并不容易... 必须拥有足够的意志力和大量的勇气.... 当然别忘了还要付出一些时间...

我有意志力吗?勇气? 并没有…… 感觉自己越来越懦弱，越来越经不起考验…… 我的无敌的外壳不见了…… 怎么办？自己的脑不对心…… 是不是我的脑在不知不觉的情况下被换掉了？变得越来越不理智，越来越懦弱，越来越……

也只能感到很无奈…… 好的坏的就接受吧…… 是你的，就是你的……不是你的，再强求也不会是你的……

2011-09-07T19:05:00.001+08:00

是否有经历过在上课时，老师拼命的教课，你也拼命的不明白？？

在这种情况就会导致学生更不想听课。。。也有少数的虽然听不懂，还努力的听。。。而我，是会突然觉得什么都不懂而感到无比的无助与面临巨大的压力。。。不知不觉就会生自己的气，甚至会哭。。。

也许都不会有人了解我的心情。。。只是不会而已，为什么把它看的那么严重。。。就因为我学习能力比较差，当别人因为教了我又不明白感到厌烦的时候，我会不由自主觉得自己很笨。。。不明白就问!!我有啊! 可是每次拿到的答案和我要问的都不一样。。。也许真的是我的问题。。。感觉上就是要把一件事彻底的了解才算懂。。。

有时我还真的不明白我是怎么能拿到 diploma 的。。。

posted from Bloggeroid

2011-09-03T12:52:00.001+08:00

当一件物品或是人物对你来说很重要的时候，我们往往都会迷失方向或是在不理智的情况下作出一些决定或行为甚至判断。。。

尤其是女性，多数都是感情用事之人。所以常常都会听到哪位女子因为莫件物品，人物或事作出一些令人想不到的事情。。。当然也有男性是感情用事之人。。。可是多数的是比较理智与实际。

无论是男或女，我们都是人。。。凡人就会有烦恼。烦恼也是欲望之根本。。。看的开的，恭喜你。。。看不开的，想不通的，你也只能因为烦恼而烦恼。。。

所以我常常想做个机器人。。。没欲望，没感情，没烦恼。。。你叫我做什么，我就做什么。。。可是在想想，人如果都变成机器人的话，人间岂不是一个玩具世界吗？没快乐，没烦恼，没难过，没吵闹。。。人间温情在哪里？

矛盾。。。

*Li ru, I hear u... Shall see when we are free then.. Need not be in the night if it's inconvenient for u... =)

posted from Bloggeroid

2011-08-26T21:19:00.001+08:00

也许是上天的一种安排吧。。。知道我的心情不好就刚好又有机会加班。。。又多一个欣赏工地夜景的机会。。。现在才在回家的路上写 blog。。

我很喜欢晚上到处走走。。有一种。。。很特别的感觉。。好像一个人拥有了一些什么。。。虽然带有一点感伤的感觉，它同时让你感觉更清醒。。。当然，[禅定]的功夫还是最高级。。可是我并没有那么厉害。。所以常常需要到一些鸟不生蛋的地方走走，看看，听听，坐坐或小哭一场，心情就会变比较好。。

还记得以前小时候可以花上45分钟看着蚂蚁搬糖果。。有时不开心就到楼下找野猫诉苦，还边说边哭呢。。。。看那些猫听到都厌烦吧。。。可是很感谢它们。。它们并没有打断我。。。似乎听得懂我在说什么。。有时还会应我呢。。。

还好有这些地方的存在也幸好自己对一些小事就感到很满足。。。不然我永远都会变得很不开心。。那样也影响别人，罪加一等。。

posted from Bloggeroid

2011-08-26T10:23:00.001+08:00

不管多么辛苦，难过，都要熬过去。。

posted from Bloggeroid

2011-08-20T17:23:00.001+08:00

有好多事很想说。。。可是想到后果，选择不说是对的。

那又知道该说还是不该说呢？如果不说只有自己不开心，而你说了会造成别人的不幸，就不应该说了。。。当然，要对得起良心。。。

像这样不说的局面，会有好多不能做的事。。。例如，因为他人的举动感到开心的，要当做若无其事的对待。。。就是不管什么情况下一定要把那一瞬间的情感控制的很好。。。

很麻烦吧。。没办法。。除非你一开始就不处在这种情况，就没事了。。。

加油吧。

posted from Bloggeroid

2011-08-13T23:11:00.001+08:00

You don't feel it doesn't mean there's nothing...You don't like it doesn't mean you don't need it...You don't believe it doesn't mean it doesn't exist...There's lots of things in life we have no control of what we want.. But we can, chose, to adapt and live with it...

2011-08-06T19:01:00.001+08:00

“我希望。。“ 都是大家常常会说的。

希望。。。:

-一天变成有钱人

-考到好成绩

-遇上白马王子，白雪公主

还有很多很多。。但最常听到的是，“希望时间能够倒流。。“ 在人生中，我们都会遇到不顺心之事，也有好多好多的过失与遗憾。当然也有好几项是我们无法控制的。

虽然我还蛮常 complain, 可是都是一种发泄情绪的方式。我常常告诉自己，是好是坏，我都有一份，不能用自己的手指指向任何人。当然常常也会有人说我太天真，太愚蠢，才会给人欺负。

但再想想，在这个现实的社会里，不是你吃人，就是别人吃定你，利用你。。哪还会有真心互相对待的人呢？人人都把[真心]践踏在脚底下。。直到后悔了，一切都太迟了。。。尽管是这样，我的选择还是一样。

唉。。为什么在错的时间遇到对的人，在对的时间遇到错的人。。

2011-07-30T12:33:00.002+08:00

不可告人的秘密…… 每个人都有吧。

回想起来，我正是一个“不可告人的秘密”……也许就是有这个命吧！或者是自己造成的…… 弟弟常常说，要是我没跟别人那么好，那别人就不会有机会接近我。那是否人人都要防呢？因为，你永远不知道对方是真心和你一样，或是另有目的。

即使作为是情人，我也曾经是一个“不可告人的秘密”…… 朋友，情人，同事，家人……我都是……

又怎样？虽然时时刻刻会有人误会，虽然伤自己，虽然辛酸，虽然别人对不起我，可是我知道我对得起自己……就当上辈子欠的，日子会好过些……

2011-07-27T00:30:00.001+08:00

I can't sleep...

The moment I closed my eyes I kept recalling the dream I had yesterday..

Was having dinner with dbs ex-colleagues at some ulu place till very late... When we was walking to our car, I realized that some didnt catch up with us... I walked to the toilet area to look for them thinking the ppl inside the car will wait for everyone to get into the car before driving off...

When I walked towards the toilet area, I felt something was wrong..it was creepy n little lightings... I lost my courage to move on so I turned back.. When I came back, the car was missing... They left without us....

Feeling scared, I walked towards the main gate hoping to get a taxi... I think it was really a miracle.. A taxi was driving towards me.. I board up the taxi telling the uncle, "uncle, I think my frens are being kidnap... Can u help me??" I was feeling anxious, worried and scared... "are you crazy? It's so dark here.. What can I do to help?"

Just then, the taxi drove pass the back lane n i saw my frens being tied up... There were a few man holding knives... One of them charge towards the taxi trying to stop us from driving off... But somehow the uncle shook off him...

I can't remember how i ended up landed myself back in the same location, hoping to save my frens... One of the man saw me n run towards me with a knife... He was a vietnamese.. i can remember his face vividly... He was angry.. I kept running up a wooden staircase located round a tree.. I jumped down from the staircase by the side but the man got hold of me... He hacked me... I saw him how he killed me... One of my hand was being chopped off left fingerless on the stairs...

One of my fren who survived could see my soul... So I follow her wherever she go... When we board up the taxi, the uncle ask my fren, "did you brought something into my car?? how come my car got a smell of sandalwood??"

farewell to stec

2011-07-24T23:03:00.001+08:00

Finally I've left my company... But I'm not happy... Not because I dun bear to leave my company... But i'm gonna miss my main contractor, shanghai tunnel engineering co. ltd (stec)...I've met great people there, receive great care from them... Making me going extra mile to help them feels happier than feeling it's a hassle..Really... Great people... Probably I may not meet people who will be as good as them or even better if i'm in luck... But i'm not going to forget them... Had three farewell meals and one tea break since last week till yesterday... =) thanks for everything... Of course not forgetting jing lei n vincent... =)I wish you all, all the best and may we meet again..

2011-07-11T16:27:00.002+08:00

发现吗？我们常常都活在别人的批评中……因为别人的“你为什么这样 ”，“你没资格……”，等等的评语影响自己……

很多时候，我不会当成是批评……而是让自己可以加以思考的问题。很多时候我们都需要周围的人提醒……“当局者迷，旁观者清”，这句话每个人都懂……但我们何常提醒自己别人就像是我们的镜子?

我正认真的想……感谢。

2011-07-03T17:53:00.001+08:00

Lousiest person....

2011-06-24T13:05:00.002+08:00

过于关心会导致影响自己的心情……

记得又一次和好友聊天的时候，她就说她常常会有胃痛，甚至有时会晕倒……问得更详细的时候才发现因为她常常会不吃东西……便问她为什么。她说因为她想把钱省下来，买她要的东西……虽然说了她几句，但过不多久，为了买她要的东西而不吃的习惯又犯了…… 常常因为太关心，导致自己都不高兴……

常常会问问自己,“有必要吗?当时人都不管，为什么我这个外人要多管闲事呢？”…… 可是就是很难不管。妈妈常常说我是“管家婆”……也许就是这样吧…… 每个人都有不同的看法呀……也许自己比较死板，才会把一些别人认为的小事看得很重要……

让我生智慧吧！……

2011-06-21T23:28:00.002+08:00

Finally Camp's over!!~ Hope that the campers learn what we really wanna bring out during the camp--- Filial Piety...

感恩上天慈悲，这次的道学营很成功！天气不会太热，或是下大雨……雨都会在活动还没开始之前就停雨……　也要感谢这次的策划组员来配合这一次的策划……大家辛苦了！＝）

我一直深信上天会有最好的安排……常常当我遇到不顺心的事的时候，都会有人在身边拉我一把，让我在更有勇气继续下去…… 真的很感恩！

今天好开心……在家打扫家里……感觉很不错，干净和整齐的感觉真的很不错！尤其是自己打扫的……明天想开始运动了!好久都没运动了！ *发霉了！* 哈哈

2011-06-09T18:49:00.001+08:00

好人？什么是好人呢？有时我也分不清……我也不想要把它分得很清楚…… 我只想把本分做好，觉得应该做的事就做……珍惜身边的每一个人……真心的想对他们好……

可是人人都不一样，每个人都不同。有的你对他们好，他们越要提防你，觉得你对他们好是有什么目的…… 有的因为你对他们好，在你无堤防之下，利用你，占你的便宜……有的看到你的人‘好’是演的……说你是装可怜…… 有的看到你跟异性比较好，就说你水性杨花之类的话……

当然，也有一些，少数的一群人，真的也和你一样真心的对待对方…… 这少数的一群也许在你的生命里，是有一个…… 或是有几个……甚至到现今，一个都没有…… 但都不要紧……因为你对得起自己的良心……

人身无常……又有谁知明天事？生命就在呼吸之间……吸进去，呼不出，或是呼了出来，吸不进去这一口气，生命就结束了…… 当你想‘恨’或是‘生气’ 一个人时，如果你的生命在下一刻也许会面临结束的一刻，你还想恨他吗？还想生他的气吗？珍惜每一刻才是最重要的……不是吗？

2011-05-02T00:14:00.000+08:00

mistakes made once is enough....

i'm trying my super best to control my own emotions.... it's time to learn to be more practical at times than to always allowing my emotions to control over me...

it's difficult... but i guess it's something very important that i have to learn...

yes, i'm too fast at making decision too fast which made me impulsive at times... time to sit back and see the whole picture before committing....

may i learn and gain wisdom..

2011-04-24T23:04:00.002+08:00

i cried while sharing my thoughts during 精进班 today... like was the first time i cried in tianhui, in front of 9 people..

wanted to share my thoughts after reading one of the story （打电话） i read in a book (把这份情传下去)... didn't managed to finish sharing and i broke into tears and i couldn't control it.. when i wanted to try to continue, i harder i wanted to cry... ended up i went to the toilet to let them out.. and my eyes, nose and face was all red.. eyes were swollen...

i really can't sleep if i didn't say it out... i actually wanted to share that:

After reading the story, i wanted to cry.. rather sad and guilty when i kept feeling i'm not doing doing enough.. like a few times i dreamt that my parents died.. i remember i dreamt twice that my mum died and once my dad died.. and often i was awaken from my cryings... and it just felt so true that i was so scared..

there was one time i shared with my mum... and she laughed at me... she said it was just a dream and her life is a tough one so she won't die so easily.... even she die, it's normal.. everyone has to die.. and i cried even harder... but she just kept laughing and the harder i would cry... and she would say, "i also haven die! cry until like that for wat?!" and the more n harder i cried.. until she saw me crying so hard that she cried with me too...

a lot of times i felt i haven do enough as a daughter.. i haven got the ability to let them to sit back and relax without working.. because i can't earn enough to support them... When i was still studying, I still have time to clean up the house, cut some fruits for them to eat when they come home, chit chatting with mum, give mum a massage, etc...

Now, i don't even have time to do all these... often, i would get paranoid with all the undone things i used to do and got frustrated with myself and end up with tears.... i don't much quality time with them anymore... I know my parents understand my position but the guilt in me is always there.. I know my mum is worried about my health but she knew I a person I can't let things go once it's in my hands... they knew it... but they kept quiet... Now they got one lesser person to attend to them, care for them... but they kept quiet... As a child, i really felt i'm a idiot....

My mum always says, "u got 3 homes... one is here, one is workplace and one in fotang..." seriously, she dun really see me unless she stay up late at night or if she goes fotang... only a small portion of time she would see me is when i knock off and reach home at the timing she is going to sleep... The longest time she sees me is when i'm sick... how pathetic...

I hope i can do whatever i can when they are still around...

2011-04-17T22:06:00.002+08:00

Trying my best to appreciate what i'm going through -- tiredness..

yes.. not much of sleeping time, not much of resting time, not much of personal time... but full of things to do... unfinished stuffs, overlooked stuffs and upcoming stuffs...

Like a few times i can feel my body is super tired.. eyes were red, dark eye circles, tired looking face, tired legs... At times i could doze off from time to time... but i'm still awake listening in the class, not sleeping... which i think i've grown in some ways..

Hope i will be forgiven for the mistakes committed and the things i've overlooked.. I'll try to do my best....

because of some overlooked issues, Ri an came over to discuss with me... Was grumbling about the workload to Ri an and he was rather afraid that i will really break down.. because i can feel my tears was rolling about in my eyes while talking to him... and he told me, because they felt i'm someone could be stretched...

stretch... i duno how much further can i be stretched... but i hope God can give me the strength to move on.. I will try my best.. really..

2011-04-10T18:16:00.002+08:00

This morning went over to mum's stall to help out because dad went back to Malaysia to 扫墓。

There's this auntie looking at me and ask my mum: "wa.. is this your maid helping you?"

I was then laughing out loud and mum have that 尴尬 face and say i'm her daughter... the auntie then said, "o... i thought she is a malay! she look quite 'black'.." -_-"" she used black... can you imagine i'm totally like chao ta? -_-""

anyway, i'm not offended but find it rather funny.. hahaha!! Got used to it probably.. =)

Like Liru says, this blog has been quite dead... well.. i really have no excess time to update...

Work:

-working from Monday to Friday (8am-630pm) and 2 half Saturdays each month,

-OTs can be as late as 11pm

-weekly internal meeting every Tuesday and ends rather late

Camp:

B camp Planning meeting on weekdays (small group meeting) and weekends (full comm. meeting)

Tuition:

Tuition on Sundays, and preparation of after tuition activities and taking note of the progress making sure things goes well

BZZ:

Now and then there's Ly on weekends..

Nope, not grumbling.. Just tired.. It's great to be packed with these... 不进则退…… I just hope God will give me wisdom and strength to move on regardless how hard times may be...

2011-02-10T22:18:00.002+08:00

have been quite stressed up during these few days... not just work..just everything.. sigh...

probably god ke lian me.. so now i'm down with 3 days MC.. the longest i've gotten so far.. have not got MC for so long b4... giddiness, headaches and of course fever... =/

like what i've told Vincent, no one will understand how really a person felt unless you really been through it.. and i think it's a bit useless for me to say all my problems out here... because it just doesn't help at all... and for those who know me, i'm a person with not much secret la.. u ask me n i will say... and i'm a person is super good at grumbling.. hahaha.. because i always feel after grumbling u will feel better...

but this time round it just doesn't work for me anymore.. and i duno y... probably some solutions just doesn't fit for all problems and situations ba. =/ hopefully God will lead me the right way out.. enlighten me please? =)

take care everyone! especially vincent! =)

2011-02-06T21:34:00.002+08:00

不开心的变得更不开心……

烦恼的变得更烦恼……

担心的变得更担心……

这都是凡人都有的烦恼不是吗？凡人 = “烦人”

i wished i could have time to get away...

2011-01-29T22:27:00.002+08:00

Finally got the time to start spring clean..

started and stopped at my room though...

woke up and started cleaning after brushing my teeth.. on my computer for music... lol.. sometimes eat snake a bit chat on facebook.. that's why you see some tags on my wall today.. just want to share an incident with u.. kinda felt guilty for causing death..

was cleaning halfway then i saw this little spider crawling.. i wanted to take it to somewhere else.. the window.. because i need to clean the area n i dun wan to kill it.. but when i tried to use a paper roll to take it, it seems scared and kept on running to somewhere else... until i got it on the paper roll, it started to release it's web... and suddenly, it dropped into my basin of water for me to wash my cloth.. =( i panicked and tried to save it with the same paper roll.. but it died.. =( i'm sorry little cute spider... may u reincarnate soon....

and my back starts aching.. shall continue to spring clean tomorrow..

2011-01-21T23:19:00.002+08:00

虽然你常常告诉我你很坏，
可是我还是一直都觉得你是一个好人……

当潜意识告诉我你在骗我，
我给你机会让你解释，
可是你还是选择了欺骗……

我一直对你所有的好印象，
就在短短的一个小时摧毁了……
突然觉得我认识得你
是多么的可怕……
那么的陌生……

我的真心……
就这样让你践踏在脚下……

我不恨你……
只能怪自己为什么当初这么笨，
这么容易相信人……

虽然你伤害了我，
我还是要谢谢你让我找到一个好朋友……

p.s 不要误会……不是情人，只是一个曾经很相信的朋友……

2011-01-08T17:40:00.004+08:00

i think i'm always complaining.... which is not really a good thing... i duno... but i always feel complaining cannot help in changing anything but it makes me feel better... because at that moment, when u can do nothing, u only can grumble and complain.. thats the only thing that can make all the unhappiness out of u?? hmm.. not sure... but i noticed girls likes to complain..

that proves something.. i'm a girl afterall.. lol..

Jing Lei kept telling me he loves to travel.. who dun? just a few minutes ago, he was showing me some of his traveling photos with his friends.. super cool.. he made me wants to go travel too... =( traveling with friends, eating n sleeping under the sky full of stars on the big piece of green land... i'm already imagining already... =/

sigh.. when will it be my turn too?

2011-01-07T12:47:00.003+08:00

Super long never really got to update.. =( no time, no life, nothing to write.. sad eh?

=/ wanted to exercise, but no time..

needed to buy clothes for Chinese New Year.. =(

well well.. work life is as robotic as ever.. adhoc always.. nothing's improving.. guess i'm getting used to it as well..

meow.

2010-12-12T09:23:00.003+08:00

I've thinking why i'm so easily affected.. when people made small mistakes... when people dun reply my msg... when people jus don't return calls... when people slightly ignored me.... all these are jus small things...... i shouldnt get affected.. right?

2010 is coming to the end soon and 2011 is starting... To look back again, this year, i feel I've not really made much improvement in my bad habits/character which i really should.. like, easily affected by people.. or i should say significant others.. like what i've learnt - do not let people who are not ur significant others affect u emotionally because it'll be just as tired and there is not a need.. because they dun take u in their hearts... but to think again, does ur significant others take u as their significant others? well.. i think there's no ans for this unless u ask... but again, The truth may hurt but will free u...

What has i achieved in 2010?
-Class 3 License ( one time pass)
-Best result during my poly days though it's not very good but i'm happy enough
-Diploma Cert
-got a related job
-Planned B camp

well... i duno what else i've done.. but the above is something i think is significant enough i could remember.. but i'm old.. i cant remember things now.. i cant remember the date today.. =/

2010-11-27T15:57:00.003+08:00

my life's getting more and more complicated.. i can feel i'm moving out of myself.. not because of working life.. but jus me... i don't like changes.. really.. i dun like it.. i'm feeling "something"... but i cant describe it..

From time to time, i feel i'm wrong in making such decision... wrong in how i thought... wrong in... being too impulsive.... wrong in being too emotional.. emotions, is really something can kill me, do wrong things.. really... I always feel that being 50% practical and 50% emotional is the best.. but, who can really do it just nice? for me, i'm more for the emotional person.. which does not benefit myself most of the time.. in the society, being emotional = killing urself.. serious...

sigh... dun worry.. no more cryings... just.... i duno... i really hope God can brighten up my route ahead, leading the way to do the right things... because i can feel i'm going the wrong way soon... liwen, please get back on track, look at ur goals.. thank u..

2010-11-21T21:45:00.002+08:00

i was eating alone at Komala then this china staff came over to my table afteri started eating for 15 minutes...

him: Do you need any drinks?

me: er... no??

him: it's ok...

me: er.. nvm nvm..

he went in and came out from the kitchen after a while and said, " this lemonade is for you..."

i took quite a while to react... "er.. o... thank u.."

then he went in..

i have been thinking, why he gave me lemonade... this was the first time i got something FREE out of no where.. =/

2010-11-09T22:18:00.002+08:00

YES.. i got passed my TP today.. FINALLY...

THANKS for all who prayed and wished me good luck.. =)

Was super nervous since the last few practice.. i still remember vividly i strike curb ON ROAD.. -__-"" mount curb/strike curb more than 10 times... even my instructor says i no need to test liao.. sure fail... he says the more i drive, the worst i got.. of course, i do feel the same way too.. =/ the initial period, i learn fast and i thought i could just pass easily... but like what he said, the more i drive, the worst i got... sigh...

jiaming already passed and was waiting for me to go through my TP.. WAS SUPER NERVOUS!!!! then my instructor told me, "aye ya.. u like that sure fail la.. u so BLURR!! u aim 18 demerit points pass can liao... no need to aim high.." =/ super demoralised though...

But i think i got all the blessings from god, my friends, gong gong and family... i passed my TP with 6 demerit points.. =D yea!!!! *clap hands*

WOOHOOO!!~~~ super happy.. i started driving late august and passed my TP in early November... yeah!~ my BTT, FTT and Tp all first time passed!!~~ yea!! o ya, by the way, i got CLASS 3 license!!! no "A" behind.. not an offense to those class 3A holders.. but i feel it's not as bad what people always says..."Manual cars are more difficult than auto cars".. =)

getting a driving license this year was my aim for the year... to get something during 21st years old... =) and i did it.. I passed my BTT on mid July, FTT in early August, got my PDL in mid August, and passed TP in early Nov... fast? haa... i think so... =P

YEAAAAAAAAAAAA

Life is just like running a marathon...

2010-10-24T22:19:00.003+08:00

Today's my first time participating a marathon.. super excited at the same time afraid that could not finish it though it's just 10km.. well well.. like what happens to most of the people here, after secondary school, we rarely have "PE" lessons or work out time...

Before the race, everyone so excited!~ yi fang super unglam here...

Helina...

This is our race results.. LOL.. so now u know how much we need "PE"
Helina's and ya li's

yifang's

jiaming's

mine...

though i didnt get a good timing but i felt it's was something that i've achieved... my first marathon.... while running, there's quite a number of thoughts going through my mind.. one of them was--- Life is just like running a marathon...

Maybe at times u are really tired.. you really feel like giving up... some may jus kept themselves running, some may just walk.. but some may just give up by sitting somewhere and wait for the lorry to pick them up to the finishing point.. there's something in certain, there's no turning back once you start off the run...

well, i dun really know what i'm saying or driving at actually.. Just some messy thoughts running through my mind...

so i shall just end off the post with our picture after the run...

helina, yali, yifang and liwen..

2010-10-09T10:18:00.002+08:00

I'm seriously grateful... for one person in my company.. Jiasen..

At first Vincent and I feel that he is "gary" type.. and we gave him a nickname, G2000.. haha... But after knowing him, he is not what we think.. A lot people misunderstood him... taking him that he everything also very slack.. just happy go lucky "hun yi tian"... diao lang dang..

Until from what i knew what he did... I realized we were wrong about him.. He can just stay up in the middle of the night just to sort out notes for us.. No one ask him to do that.. but he just wanted to help.. Seriously, i felt sth... because in my company, i dun feel the "helpfulness" from people but only from him... he did really sth for the newbies..

I've learnt quite alot of things from him... One of them was not to bother how people look at u.. if u think you didnt do anything wrong, even people look down on u or wat, u have nothing to fear...

Thanks Jiasen.. for cheering me up when i'm down.. by giving my kinder joy and bueno..

2010-10-02T23:08:00.002+08:00

Well well.. yday was Dinner & Dance for IES at Shangri-la Hotel... The Institution of Engineers Singapore.... Had to attend as boss already booked the places for us.. forced to wear nicely..

As usual, my "personal" menu...

was afraid that I would under dress or wat.... but lucky still ok ba.. =) took a picture with vincent.. but was quite dark for the first try..

Second try..

Third try was better but i was not ready for it.. -_-"" well well...

slept quite late yday. suposed to meet the DBS colleage clique at 1130.. ended up i was late... MAJONG session all the way.. didnt know how to play but they were kind enough to teach me... and i really on beginner's luck... consecutively won 7 matches...lol..

random picture of the day, Joan's boy.. =)

2010-09-24T23:58:00.002+08:00

我是一个重感情的人…… 最近我遇到的一件事令我感到“失恋的感觉”……

我有一个朋友，可以说是我真的觉得他是一个值得交的朋友……就打从我认识他的那天，就已经有一个老朋友的感觉……因为他不是本地人，如果知道可以帮到他，我一定帮他……当然，他的成绩比我的还要好“几百倍”……能帮他的也不多……就零零碎碎的一些事,陪他说说话……认识他的那段期间，真得很开心认识到这样好的一个朋友。
不久后，也许个也忙各的，都没什么说话了。最多也只在MSN或是SMS聊聊彼此的近况……感觉也慢慢不一样了。感觉上，我们好像也没那么“好”了……好多次，都有说: “我们好像没有那么close了hor??” 可是他只会说是我想太多……

直到最近，因为他的一些举动真得令我觉得很他好像不管我这个朋友的感受……例如,他问我什么问题我都会回答，当我问他的问题的时候，他是以选择性的回答… 我很肯定并不是因为我的问题太过私人……便发了一个小脾气…… 他就说，其实他对我好事要“还”我对他的好……并不是因为我是他的好朋友……我真的心痛了……因为，以前他说我是他在新加坡好友之一……

一向来，对我而言，交友交心……听起来是有点“太天真”……在现实生活中，交心朋友到底有几个呢？或许一个都没有……也许你把心都掏空了，都没人可怜你……因为，是你太天真了…… 那为什么我还选择这样呢？理由很简单，因为我不要对不起自己……我深信真心地对待一个人，他也会真心地对待你……当然，在这个过程中，你会不知觉得把自己放入“虎口”……受伤是必然的……就好像我刚刚说到的那一个朋友……我相信，我们感情很好的那段期间，他也是真心对我好的……

他是一个很保护自己的一个人……也许怕被受伤害，怕被被判，怕被超越……我不知道……但我知道，他在保护自己……我不怪她……因为每个人保护自己的方式都不一样。我还是选择相信他是一个好人……

可是，现在的我，真得很难过……失去一个好朋友就好像失恋……

2010-09-15T22:38:00.004+08:00

Thanks for everyone... for those who has been concerned... Probably is the blessing of everyone that caused my day to be slightly better the next day...

I'm just trying my best not to "complain".. maybe this may be just a part and parcel of life.. you may worked hard for something and in the end you may not get what you wanted... it's not about the outcome.. it's always about how/what you think..

For e.g.. I've intro my friend into the same job.... in the end, my friend is doing someone i wanted to... Despite i already told my boss what i wanted in the interview... I was thinking, "how come we are not the same?" i felt very biased... Then someone told me i shouldnt intro this job to my friend in the first place.. because in the end, i'm like selling off something i wanted.... Until yesterday... i felt that it's ok.. we may end up getting different things but just work towards what i wanted... and at the same time, learn things along the way.. maybe in the end, things will get better for me too.. if there would be a chance to chose again, I will still intro my friend the job.. because I wan the good things save not only for myself... =)

My friend, don't touched until cry... you got a nice friend here.. =D

I wan to thank jiafu for encouraging me, cheering me up and teaching me alot of things.. yes.. he was the one intro me this job.. i will try my best to learn all i can... thanks BUDDY!!! i'm super grateful..

2010-09-13T20:56:00.001+08:00

today was my first working day at ang & ong consultants pte ltd.... i was afraid i could not wake up at 6am... and it has been making me waking up every hr plus after my slp....

finally, 6am.. i went to shower, brush my teeth, packed my bag ready to go out... just then i saw my mum didnt hang the clothes in the washin machine... it was 620am then.. so i quickly hang them up.... 750 left house and went over to mum stall for breakfast and da bao my lunch to my workplace... because my workplace ulu until no place to eat... meat eaters too... they have to drive out n buy their lunch...

710am walked over to bus stop... when i was onthe overhead bridge, i saw my bus.. i quickly rushed down n it jus drove off... in front of me.... missed my bus... it was 720am... gg liao lor... hoping bus could come fast... but the bus same at 740am.... sigh... rushed all my way there n no one was in the office... only one industrial attachment student...

i was expecting my first day to b loaded with full of informations of my job scopes, introductions n some hands on work... cool... nothin... a brief discription of the projects they r doin for like 30mins? n i'm required to do my work myself... - do reports with regards on more on technical side... when i totally have no experience... and i'm sitting a place worst than my desk in DBS.... the computer is sitting on a platform... my hand is like raising all the way.... my arm was numb from time to time... when ppl walk pass me will knock my chair... no.. i'm not complaining.. i'm jus describing.... wondering how can i survive with this condition for months? probably i need to b prepared to b sacked...

when i was waiting for bus, i was talkin on the phone... then when i raised up my head, i saw my bus drove away.... i cried.... yes... super crazy... but i'm really stressed... felt like even bus also wan to bully me... -_-"" i know i'm jus crapping la... but i'm jus stressed up... sigh

2010-09-08T13:58:00.002+08:00

Planned to go skating today.. but it has been raining for the whole day... well.. probably it's a indication to stay at home to do proposal/powerpoint slides for A group DZB... When i reached home, i switch on my com and realized that i can't tag on the internet somehow.. sigh.. It was still alright that day after elder bro changed password for the internet thingy so that other ppl cannot tag on our internet... And today i can't use anymore.. I ask him what happened but he say he didnt do anything.. *claps* That means i need to wait again.. =(

Well.. not a bad thing though... Have been telling people I didnt have any time FOR myself.. yes.. alone time... maybe today it's a great time to be alone at home.. listen to some light music and watch the rain outside.. hmm.. yes.. i somehow like raining though.. I like staying indoor watching raining outside.. and listen to music.. like.. so relax.. can do some reflections too.. i like it.. just like what i'm doing now... =)

A few more days will be my first day of work.. but i have not been able to get the habit of waking up at 6am.. =( probably it's my sleeping habit... i need to change soon.. else i will b late! and my boss don't like people to be late... =s

2010-09-01T23:00:00.002+08:00

Today Yifang send me an SMS to tell me to sign up for Nike Run.. So I did! Be it with anyone or without, I just want to take part this for the VERY first time! =) anyway, ya, I signed up already and looking forward!! =D

I'm missing my colleages already...

2010-08-31T22:59:00.004+08:00

Super funny.. Please read yifang's message to Helina on a box.. -_-""

As you know, today was my last day in DBS.. in the morning there was already a box of egg tarts on my desk.. bought by paik see.. =D

In the noon time, Joan and Celest bought me a cake! Well, it was supposed to be a farewell cake though.. lol... they are super nice!! Alot of pictures were upload in facebook... Take a look out there.. =)

At night we head to Roma Deli to have our dinner.. And this was our 3rd time visiting.... they like the Bake potato Rice and Mushroom soup.... but most of them couldn't finish their portion and Dale volunteered to help them to lighten their load.. lol..

This is the normal portion..

After the "add ons", Dale's looks super O_O.... lol.. his portion is on the left hand side...

Trying to challenge with a 007 pose.. lol... yes.. in the end, he did finished all.. *claps*

Please watch the following Commercials before I continue my blog post....

Seriously, I'm glad to know them... ruth, shan shan, helina, yifang, Tiffany,stephanie, amanda, celest, Joan, Dale, yali, xingyi, siew wan.. they are really nice people... At first i thought i wil have a hard time working with all the girls but apparently, I'm having fun more than I expected... This is the first time I worked in all female environment and the first time i Love working with girls.. *thumbs up for them* They really gave me alot of memorable memories... got the "chiong sua" feeling with them somehow.. =)

I hope that's not the end... hope to still keep in touch with them though... =)

2010-08-29T21:02:00.001+08:00

Some people yearn to be with someone they love...

Some people yearn to leave people they love due to some reasons...

whatever it is, don't regret...

Yiruma - Wait There (Live in Seoul)

2010-08-23T21:20:00.001+08:00

sometimes when things goes wrong or misunderstanding arises, how would you feel? would you feel that "that particular person or group" doesn't understands you? well, so how well do you know yourself? sometimes, i feel that I don't know myself too...

Like in the past, I've made so much mistakes... looking back now, "what a fool am i.." for doing somethings that I would just hate myself for doing it.. but i've done it in the past.. wrong decision.. wrong actions.. wrong mindset....

I don't feel loved at home when i was young.. i was bullied by my younger brother (bribed by my elder brother), elder brother used to hate me (yes, literally hate.. shall not elaborate what he did to me).. dad used to hit me because i always chose to "stand up for my rights".... mum seems not helping me in anyway when things goes wrong for me.. I felt i'm rubbish.. seriously.. i then resorted to find "love" outside home... i then got into quite a number of relationships but expected, everything was just a game for the guys though.. what can you expect? they are still young.. I was often the one being dumped... I was sad.. depressed... and i still remembered that my friends thought i was in depression.. but i was not..

I felt that no one could/will help me.. i then always sat by the beach.. and cry.. and i always feel only "it" would understand how i feel.... it always has been my "healing place"... whenever i'm sad, whenever i feel no one understands me.. whenever i dun understand myself.. when i just need accompany..

thankful that god has been helping me all along.. even at the down period, i have not done anything to hurt myself...things also has gone better.. mum has been feeling guilty over what has happened to me and she always tries to give her very best to take care of me... my younger brother has been more willing to talk to me now.. and my elder brother has not been treating me in a very hostile way anymore.. I've been trying to accept my dad's way of doing things too.... I don't hate my family.. i always imagine if any of the members were to 'disappear', i would be very sad too..

i'm thankful of what god has given me what i have now... I always feel that every things happen for a reason.... if it's something that made you suffer in any ways, means that god is giving you a chance to learn... to pick up a skill....

I always wanted to pick up piano as a hobby.. i always like music... i always wanted to play music to express my emotions.. when i'm down, i will always wanted to listen to yiruma's music... let you listen one of his nice piece of music....

2010-08-21T11:37:00.002+08:00

Everything's going to end soon to welcome the new.... this end month will be leaving DBS...

I'm going to say goodbye to my everyday routine bread.....

say goodbye to my pass...

say goodbye to my desktop....

say goodbye to my messy workplace...

but i'm looking forward to it! =D

YES! going to say "HI" to my new workplace with ang & ong consultant pte ltd! =D

Project engineer, here I come!!

eh.. haven la.. 13 sep will be my first day of work!

王力宏「你不知道的事」《戀愛通告》主題曲完整版MV ENG SUBS

2010-08-17T22:27:00.000+08:00

watched 戀愛通告 yesterday... quite nice lor.. i believe most girls would like the movie.. =D maybe guys too! i would rate it 8/10!!

This is one of the nice song in the movie.. *nice* kinda touching though.. *aww*

2010-08-14T09:01:00.002+08:00

after reading yong hao's blog, i totally agrees with him --"when u lend a helping hand, the result u get is smth money cant buy u"

i always like helping people whenever it's within my control, reach or ability.... especially old people... never to feel super happy when u see them smile.. and when they smile, you can feel it.. it's from their bottom of their heart... and it never fails to brighten up my day...

But have you ever try to lend a helping hand to someone needs help yet they seems not to help themselves? seriously it's a tough job because it's like you are trying to force a cow to drink water from the river when it just refuses to despite being thirsty... you knew that they are just giving themselves up and thats the more we should encourage them etc... but like i say, " no one can help you if you don't help yourself.." I don't know... Never fails to feel demoralised when I meet this kind of situation.. it just seems like 自讨苦吃... it's not even my problem right.. haa.. i don't know either....

I don't know.. i'm just feeling kinda vexed.. just vexed.. no reason.. i feel that i need time for myself... seriously.. I used to have time for myself... but not now anymore... I'm looking forward towards 1 sep.. thats the only time i may have time for myself... I just need to be at the beach... i want to be alone.. just for one day..

2010-08-12T01:51:00.002+08:00

i always feel that i'm not that kind of fren who calls and ask, "hey! how are you? i miss you!" i'm those can dun contact my frens but i still remembers...

i still misses times that we spend together.. from time to time i will still msg n say some random thing.. that's because i miss u....i'm someone treasure ties.. be it someone who let me down.. i will not hate u even if i say i do... there's some examples though...

People comes and go out of ur life but i jus wish to be there when they needed me.. i just wan to b a stop for them when they need somewhere to rest... and they can still move on with their lives when they are ready to...

Jiayou my fren...

2010-06-23T00:48:00.004+08:00

shi hui super funny... i was waiting for my hair to dry..... then i was chatting with shi hui on msn....

me: y u still not zz ing?

sh: soon
sh:haha
sh:tsk
sh:u lei?!
sh:tml still got work somemore!

me: ya
me: soon
me: waiting for hair to dry

sh: i see i see
sh: i help you blow
sh *blows*

me: LOL
me: next year liao

sh: TSK
sh: evil
sh: hahahahaha
sh: *continue blowing*

me: LOL
me: so funny
me: super cute
me: lol

2010-06-23T00:48:00.001+08:00

shi hui super funny... i was waiting for my hair to dry..... then i was chatting with shi hui on msn....

23/06/2010 12:38:40 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 y u still not zz ing? 23/06/2010 12:39:02 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з soon 23/06/2010 12:39:03 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з haha 23/06/2010 12:39:05 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з tsk 23/06/2010 12:39:10 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з u lei?! 23/06/2010 12:39:14 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з tmr stil gt work somemore! 23/06/2010 12:39:19 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 ya 23/06/2010 12:39:20 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 soon 23/06/2010 12:39:24 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 waiting for hair to dry 23/06/2010 12:39:58 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з i see i see 23/06/2010 12:40:00 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з i help u blow 23/06/2010 12:40:04 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з *blows* 23/06/2010 12:40:27 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 LOL 23/06/2010 12:40:30 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 next yar 23/06/2010 12:40:33 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 *year liao 23/06/2010 12:42:12 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з TSK 23/06/2010 12:42:14 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з evil 23/06/2010 12:42:15 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з hahahahaha 23/06/2010 12:42:19 AM [SH] 保持微笑 ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з *continue blowing* 23/06/2010 12:43:25 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 LOL 23/06/2010 12:43:26 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 so funny 23/06/2010 12:43:28 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 super cute 23/06/2010 12:43:29 AM ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ *Roar* ^^V ε(●̮̮̃•̃)з [SH] 保持微笑 lol

2010-06-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

my blog's dying..

anyway, too much to blog about and my pictures couldnt extract out from my phone...

thats y i decide to up fill this with little words...

i'm enjoying my life.. =)

2010-05-02T00:31:00.000+08:00

i know i super random... but i became very.. sentimental at this hour... i cant sleep and i'm using my hp to blog at this hour because something strike through my mind....

guilty...

yes... guilty... i know feeling guilty doesnt help in any problems... but i just felt this way... i suddenly felt that i have not been treating people who really treats me well good.... in fact i've been taking them for granted... they are the "past tense" but... i dunno why after taking the cough syrup, i started thinking about who did i treated badly before....

crazy u may think.... but i just dunno why too...

i just wanna say sorry to "K" and "Q"... i've apologise to "Q" but not "K" yet... probably i wont even apoloise to "K" at all because thats the only way to get things resolved... else everything will just arise from the beginning....

most of the times, we tend to neglect ppl who really cares and loved us but we gave our love and care to someone may not be even worth for us to do so... don't u think so?

liwen, can u guide me the real way? the real me? guide me back... i need to be on the right path... because i've been doing wrong things and making the wrong choices...

may i sleep now...

2010-04-23T21:04:00.002+08:00

i know my blog looks super dead but i really have no life now...

daily routine (exclude weekends) :

eat

work

kana scold

sleep

today is the first time i came online for this week and i have not have my dinner yet.. =(

2010-04-06T22:31:00.000+08:00

tell me how can i help you....

tell me what can i do....

tell me why it's affecting me...

if there's nothing we could do about it, tell me why are we affected by it?

all because it's important to us?

2010-03-26T13:49:00.004+08:00

it has been super DUPER long ever since i've went skating... so yday i went to ECP to skate... seriously!~~

so under a suddenly urge, i really went skating!~~

skate to one end,....

to another end.. =D

super shuang.. =D

o ya!! and a week ago, went to woodlands there... near checkpoint... there's a market there near sheng siong.. n i tried the ipoh hor fan!!! nice!!!!

rating??

i duno when it was taken.. i think last week,.. we challenged the high score of the machine basketball!! and we won!

the first time...

and the second time..

*clap clap* =D

2010-03-24T21:53:00.002+08:00

today went to a job interview.. seriously, i duno whats the job la.. i jus blindly send resume..

i was heading to DBS building tower 1 located at raffles... then i jus went in to exchange visitor pass.. then this lady very friendly.. smile and talked to me awhile.. =)

then i made my way to level 3 to find #03-02... but i walked the whole floor, i couldn't find.. so my last resort is to ask people.. and i saw 3 men at the lobby... 2 chinese men standing together, the taller one's with coffee and a shorter one... another one is an Ang Moh talking on the phone but he was looking at me...

I was perspiring.. and i approached the man with coffee as he was at my sight level.. lol.. "sorry, can I know where's #03-02?" then the 2 Chinese men looked at me n then looked at each other.. i took out a paper and let them see the location,time and person whom i need to meet.. the Ang Moh was peeping in and he quickly ended his call by telling the other party that he will call him back... the 3 men surrounded me and trying to figure out where is #03-02... and i was STILL perspiring.. until the man with coffee say, " call the person she's suppose to meet.."

then the Ang Moh didnt even give a thought and just called my interviewer with his phone... i was like !!! and he told my interviewer to "pick" me up at the ground floor lobby... -_-''

after the call, i thank everyone and i realised that the 2 men and Ang moh didnt know each other.. lol... before the Ang Moh left me, he actually gave me a sunshine smile and said, "good luck!" =)

i could say everything runs quite well.. now, i'm jus waiting for DBS to check on my background.. if clearance's high, i'll be recruited.. =)

2010-03-18T15:57:00.002+08:00

i heard that:

Someone whom cultivates good deeds or always say good words will be better looking than current or younger looking as times goes by..

while,

Someone whom cultivates evil deeds or always say bad words will be not so good looking than current or grow older looking as times goes by..

What do u think? Look around, does ppl around u falls under this theory?

2010-03-15T22:34:00.002+08:00

have been really busy nowadays... my bday like lasted for a few days... like a very long bday!!

and i really wanna thanks those who celebrated with me and those bought presents for me.. really appreciated... especially i showed abit unhappiness when they went through the trouble of planning for meeting ups.. thanks.. =D

for my bday, i received:

-a levi's watch by liru, shiling and shihui=D
-a bouquet of "lollipop flower" by shiling.. =D
-keychain by shiling =D
-photos framed up with lots of pictures by jiayi.. =D
-bob the builder cake from w.gals =D
-very nice handmade booklet made by w.gals =D
-expensive dinner with ming at Whole Earth =D
- 2 secret gift from ming =D
-sling bag from miranda and limin =D
-a gold bracelet from mum =D

thanks thanks..
got time i will snap a photo and post them up.. =D

2010-03-04T14:12:00.002+08:00

i seriously feel that I'm adopting unhealthy lifestyle.. ever since my exams had finished, I've been eating at most 2 meals a day... maybe i did eat 3 meals a day for a few days.. but i cant remember when was it.. =( no appetite, lazy plus.. i duno.. jus nv eat lor.. =( bad bad...

please let me work... find me a good job and i will be forced to take 3 meals a day... =(

2010-03-03T16:10:00.002+08:00

Let me share with u a story.. and tell me how u felt

Mark and John just knew each other not long ago. However, despite the period they knew each other, they felt close to each other and they become best buddies. One day, John played Mark's to car when Mark went to buy dinner... Suddenly, John accidentally crashed Mark's favorite toy car... John felt anxious and fear went down his spine.... At the time, Mark came back and saw his favorite toy car was spoilt.. He was very sad... He asked John why did his toy car spoil but John said that he doesn't know...

A few days later, Mark felt weird as he does not believe his toy car could just spoil out of no where and he went to ask John... John then revelled the truth that it was himself that crashes mark's toy car but was afraid to let Mark know the truth.. He feared that it would spoil the brotherhood between them.... Mark felt angry for John lying to him but at the same time, he treasured his relationship with John....

Do u think Mark should be angry with John? and what u think Mark should do?

2010-03-01T22:06:00.002+08:00

yday went over to mum's stall to clean up since noon till 6 plus... then continue from 10pm all the way till 1.30AM!!! o goorsh.. y?because the NEA personnel coming over today to check on their cleanliness within the stall... =s sian... and i woke up in about 11 today.. super like pig.. =(

and today's like family day for me.. because my parents didnt work today and i was all out with them since i woke up... we went for.. lunch for them and brunch for me...

$10/- for this amount of food.. yes... really abit over ate.. 3 person ate this amount.. =x

i'm gonna jog tml morning!~

2010-02-28T10:04:00.003+08:00

I've been wondering.... seriously thinking..

how come everyone's asking me how am i going to celebrate my 21st birthday this year... and i replied, "I'm not celebrating"... yes.. no parties, not chalet, no buffet nor oversea trips... And i should say ALL who asked me had the same replies, "WHY?!"

some suggest that i should have a least throw a party and let ur frens to celebrate with me... or even jus a simple oversea trip since it's my holiday now..

Maybe i should share why..

1. Why 21st MUST celebrate?? since every year i dun REALLY celebrate on the day itself.. just because I'm entering to adulthood? -_- what's there to celebrate? I'm not desperate going in to Cinema to watch R21 movie.. nor am i desperately to enter any "interesting" stores with at least limited age of 21...

2. I'm desperately looking for job that can last me at least for 5 months just in case i got enrolled into University... to at least save up some money.. BUT a party, an oversea trip or even buffet would cost me! maybe not a lot but there's an amount spent!...

3. Ended up, i may offend some of my frens (because i FORGOT to invite them) of neglect them during my party (because there's too many for one "spider" me to entertain.. really eight legs not enough...

4. If really need to lower budget, then need to be held over at my place or some parks or elsewhere.. THEN in the END, i WILL need to clear the RUBBISH myself... what for?

Unhappiness over happiness (what i should get after the whole celebration) then i find it no point to celebrate it..

AGREE?? =D

2010-02-25T23:35:00.010+08:00

TODAY i went to Pulau Ubin!!~~

ok.. it'll be super shocking : Today is my first time stepping on Pulau Ubin Island!!!

let the photos do the work... Super fun today.. really! n i believed everyone had their ULTIMATE fun today.... =D

This is our Model cat of the day.. very good at posing... =D

on our way to Pulau Ubin lo...

Uncle trying to "sell" his product to us..

the green color on the surface are the sea weeds!~

one mysterious island!

no la.. got name de.. but i forgot liao.. xD

Mr super tired

something on the ceiling??

camera chats!

elgin and ronald....

the four musketeers!!

trying to be..... u guess?

u know what he's looking at?

can see through!!!

BOAR!!!

RABBIT!!

LOTUS FLOWER!!!

time for coconut!~

got people put kong ming lantern wor..

super cute!

home sweet home!~~

p.s.more better quality pictures in FB by yanru and vincent.. the pictures taken here are from my hp... =x

2010-02-24T13:10:00.002+08:00

Finally i've got time to update my blog... zzz... yes! i'm super busy..
busy chiong-ing my exams...
19 Feb - APMC
22 Feb - RCD
23 Feb - WRT
24 Feb - WSH2

totally no time to study and i had to resort to sacrifice my sleep.. really...i've been not slping enough especially today... totally didnt slp and i just went for WSH2 exam... doubt will score.. if i could pass that module, i would b grateful.. why? because the things i've studied not much came out.. T-T waste the whole night studying the things that didnt come out... sigh

and ya.. i missed rebecca's bday... sorry gal.. was to busy until i've forgotten to wish u happy bday... happy 21st belated birthday!!

and ya!! do u know i had a very 'romantic' dinner on the valentine's day? i had my dinner with candles instead of lights.. in total, the electricity went short circuit 4 times! o ya.. i was in Malaysia btw.. =D if u can see, there's someone as stupid as me... trying to capture the candle's flame... thats my younger brother....

I really woke up very early to study.... when there was no one, no cars.. jus me and my latte and my NOTES

AND i wanna share with u something that happened yday... i was quite shocked... because there was this auntie at my mum's stall buying food... then she saw me talking to my mum and she ask her, "she is ur daughter?" obviously my mum say yes la... then the auntie turned to me and tell me she always wanted a daughter etc.. and she say she WANNA BRING ME HOME.. -_-"" p.s. i duno her at all... it was the first time i saw her... then she ask for my name and ask where m i studying now.. just before she went off, she took a red packet from her hand bag and handled over it to me and say, "it's still new year!! happy chinese new year!"

and of course i greeted her back.... vincent was excited about the amount of money that was inside the red packet... and i open it and....

$10!!!

2010-02-14T01:25:00.003+08:00

Have been spending the whole day doing last minute cleaning up.... sweep the floor, mop the floor, clean the door, change the table top, clean the windows, offerings for my ancestors, etc etc...

and while i was cleaning my books, i saw this book... this book was used during my primary school days... guess what is it for?
Remember the primary school trend? whereby everyone will be passing around their favourite diary book around and ask their friends to write about themselves, their best friends, favourites and things they wanna say to them... remember remember?? haa

and i saw this booklet too.. a report on my personality... this was taken during my secondary sch days... well, it's a compulsory course... so everyone got a booklet of their own personality... cool... i wanna read it again after exams..

yes. there's so much things i wanna do after my exams... i just hope that i can just finish my revision for exams and score well... and end everything nicely.. and enjoy my holiday... =S

lastly, would like to wish all of u a Happy Chinese New Year and valentine...

2010-02-10T23:42:00.002+08:00

I've just finished my SD paper today...
didnt have time to check the papers but just finished in time..

hopefully i could score alright for the paper and AT LEAST get a B for that module..

left 4 exam papers..
counting down...

2010-02-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

i missing someone..

2010-02-05T13:01:00.000+08:00

there is a chinese saying: " you dun mean what u say, but other thought u mean wat u say"...

what i had commented may mean something else... but if u "assume" or "thought" i meant it that way, then u've misunderstand...

whatever... think what u want... =)

2010-02-04T15:13:00.000+08:00

So CUTE!~

2010-02-01T22:25:00.001+08:00

the more you wanted it,
the more you won't get it...

but once you got it,
you may not treasure it...

even if you treasure it,
you may not be appreciated...

once you are not appreciated,
you will be treated as rough paper...
some will jus throw them away, and some will bobian use it when they can't find paper...

2010-01-25T20:17:00.002+08:00

pls on ur speakers to hear our conversation when u watch.. i still kept laughing even though i've watched it several times.. haha..

when you are super boring like Vincent, this is what you will do in class...

p.s: he duno how to draw spinelli's logo.. *booo*

coffee bean

woon's coffee -_-""

Hong Soon got Vincent's virus and added: "Woon you be tempted?" -_-""
and also.. "Kopi-Soh.com" -_-"

Advertising the woon's coffee.... with his "orbi quek" logo... zz

so lame.. -_-

2010-01-19T11:17:00.003+08:00

cool!~ now "Woon steel" company, refer to 3 jan 10, is moving out to all expects... it's a company run by soonie, woonie and vincy... "dun play play" got logo one...

From steel company to horror movie, refer to 26 Nov 09
From horror movie to medication, refer to 29 Nov 09
From medication to cleaning services, refer to 4 Dec 09
From cleaning services to MV, refer to 20 Dec 09
from MV to photography, refer to 18 Jan 10

the very recent is photography... accredited by vincy.. =D

2010-01-15T12:25:00.002+08:00

Vincent has been very into "hand art" recently....

When i was talking to him and i suddenly mentioned about "orbi quek" and then he got so fascinated with that word... and wanted to have that word at the back of his palm.. -_-'''
he said he had never come across that word probably because he grew up at a different country/environment...

Anyway, for those who doesn't know what's "orbi quek", it means something like "serve you right"... usually used by kids... well.. my mum always used it on us when we got naughty and got scolded by some auntie or uncle when we were very young... or fell down due to carelessness... lol.. i know... it sounds super stupid.. haa...

Today was the second day he got "orbi quek" at the back of his palm.. -_-''

2010-01-09T14:26:00.003+08:00

I thought i always had that mindset not wanting to further studying in university... because of various factors.... until that day hong soon kinda 'psycho-ed' me to go.. kinda being convinced... =S

i duno.. i'm still very unsure... so i'm leaving for fate to do the work, i will still try to enrol and if i got in, I'll continue... if i don't, then I'll work.. still kinda pondering to go towards environmental or civil course.. =(

Civil
- i'm at better control of it than in environmental..
-easier to make sense ( personally)
-intend to work in that area
-can switch to environmental jobs too

BUT
-one of my lecturer says that civil side ppl may not wan gals because of safety
-competing with China ppl which i'm at the losing party

Environmental
-specialised course
-competence level lower
-more suitable for gals...

BUT
- i dun do well in environmental modules =(
-cant switch to civil side of work if there's opportunity

sigh.. sian

2010-01-03T14:06:00.002+08:00

very sad lor.. hui shian invited me today to go to her baby's full month....
but i didnt go because i dun wan spread my evil cough to her baby.. =(

no voice
more cough

2009-12-31T18:10:00.002+08:00

past few days really very hectic for me... FEVER AGAIN!!! first time within one month fever 2 times.. -__-
this time round accompanied with a few more frens...fever invited...
-ISOMIA!~~
-HEADACHEs!~~
-THROAT INFECTION

cool? i didn't know i'm such a hot favourite of fever.. missed me too much... -_-''

anyway... was still worried i cant get my projects done in time but eventually i just finished my work over to hong soon.. hope it's not a lousy work done due to my recovering status... sorry pal...

anyway, gonna first congratulate miranda for getting her class 3A license... she super happy i know.... =)

lastly, gonna wish all of u a HAPPY NEW YEAR in a few hours time.. =) got ur new year resolution?

2009-12-28T16:44:00.001+08:00

I really think i have isomia due to WISP...

serious... i cant slp despite feeling super tired till 2-3am in the morning.. =(

2009-12-26T14:52:00.003+08:00

Hitler.

.left-wing

right-wing.

halocast.
.Treaty of Versailles

.stormtroopers

2009-12-23T16:29:00.002+08:00

Everyday i hardly pay much attention to my little plant... If u all remembered, i planted that during my attachment period given by Yenling... it was so little then... now it grew... =) and now i realised something... everyday it's moving sidewards and straight again...

In the night, it stands straight..

In the day, it moved towards the sunlight...

I always thought plant jus moved towards the sunlight n forever stays at the same position "forever"... but i saw it's changes day and night!!! =D

ok... it may sound abit stupid for some of u... anyway,
yday i tried to do some of my project works... and one of them was my WISP project... was supposed to read up on them and i got onto youtube and watched "The Diary of Annie Frank" which our lecturer encouraged us to watch for our projects.... I thought it would be handy for me because i knew here and there about what i'm supposed to know.... and it's abit confusing though...after watching the show i didnt cry like what my lecturer says but in fact i was unable to sleep.... somehow... i duno.... just something weird.. and it's with me till today... i'm afriad to read more of it... maybe i shall overcome it by reading in school where there are presence of humans.. i duno... i duno whats that feeling that haunting me... but i jus felt uneasy.. =S

So today i decide to make cookies... I've been wanting to make cookies quite a period of time already but i nv really start doing it until today....

First attempt was quite a failure as u can see.. some "chao ta" [burned]...

but it just gets better after a few tries.. =D isnt it?

it's going to be christmas in 2 days time... have u done ur shopping?

2009-12-22T13:35:00.001+08:00

Project time!~~

-_-""

time to bake cookies tml!~~ =D

2009-12-21T19:38:00.006+08:00

Yday my dad brought food from my mum's stall as offerings for my ancestors and he left this "message" for me..

-_-"" super look like advertising...

yday ming brought me to eat....
from what he says i thought he wanted me to bring me to kopitiam or hawker..
ended up at restaurant -Naive

deciding what to eat...

before our meals, they have this practice of grinding sesame seeds...

waiting eagerly to eat lor....

then we noticed someone very familiar...
he's used to be the "brands" chicken essence ambassador....

the first time i finished my meal in 1hr... super long... eat until i wanna zzzz
but nice and the price is NICE too.. -_-'' someone's pocket got big hole liao... =x

today went to visit vincent, the creative master for opinion to wrap my present for ice cream..

wrapped by me, guided by vincent....
idea from vincent

wrapped by me, guided by vincent
idea by me!!~~

i felt that this is super cool!~~~ =D thanks

2009-12-19T10:11:00.003+08:00

That day, when i was studying for RCD.... i was told about why someone hated me so much... For going back on my words and when the party trying to approach me everytime i made the person look stupid by ignoring... I was told that that person WANTED so much to start a "war" with me... the first thing came into my mind...

who are you to say me? how did u treated me?! u are jus another actor acting being ok with someone whom you don't like.... acting like whoever trying to pull ties with EVERYONE... Be it is ur way for networking or trying to b friendly.... Whenever u dislike "Ali" u went to tell "baba"... and always act close with "Ali"... and vice versa situation for "baba".... it jus "act"...
war? haa... come... do u think i'm afraid? So what u hav much more areas that u are stronger than me? it's not goin to affect me with ur scores because u r always acting "duno" when people ask u.... selfish.... I'm not like who i m in the past whom u can jus order me as if i'm ur maid... Some of my actions "U ASSUME" is i acted out delibrately which i didnt even intend to act out in that way..

but when i was on train, i thought again.... For all reasons, i shouldn't have any rights to go back on my words.. i was wrong for going back on my words.... for that i was wrong... sorry

2009-12-17T12:32:00.006+08:00

Finally Common Test are over and now time to get busy for projects.. =(

anyway, just update some pictures i took...
Yenling!~~ i got this coca cola bottle!~ hhaha!!

credit to ice cream..

have been studying with vincent for Common Test...
and when our 'study momentum' drops we do stupid things to make them alive again...

on monday i was feeling uneasy and i had headaches... no appetite....
but because i hav a test on 3pm, i was already in sch studyin, *bobian* stayed all the way from 9.30am till my test time... the moment i got home i felt super sick and slept... even though was wearing jacket and covered myself with blanket, i was still feeling cold when fan wasn't even on.. =( i took my body temperature when i woke up: 37.8degrees...

i vomitted what i ate on sunday night... i didnt ate lunch and dinner that day...
I'm having another test on wednesday and i cant afford time to rest....

Woke up on tuesday morning, no more fever but still feeling heavy in my head.... =( so after ate porriage, went back to sleep again.... about 12 sth, i received a surprised visit by someone with MC... <=) about 3 sth went to Bukit Merah Central with vincent to study... we studied the whole night till Wed and went over to school straight for test... sounds abit crazy but we literally did that... kept ourselves awake with jokes...

snap this video when we are super tired

2009-12-12T12:44:00.002+08:00

有时……
因为有你，我很高兴……
因为有你，我会感到幸福……
因为有你，会觉得被保护……

可是……
也因为有你，我会很伤心……
也因为有你，我会觉得辛苦……
也因为有你，我会渐渐的变得不开心……

有时为你掉眼泪的时候，
再想想， “不是自己自找的吗？”

很笨，有一点伤心……
都是因为自己……

2009-12-10T16:50:00.001+08:00

today huishian msged me saying that
she just gave birth to a baby boy this tuesday..
weighing at 2.86kg...

isn't that great? =D

all the best!~ =D

2009-12-09T05:26:00.003+08:00

I'm so happy because i happened to know a new fren..

Mona C Vinsa!!~

really... u see.. she's my fren... =D added in MSN as well..
cool?

*MUST* clean up room after Common test period are over.. =(
so dirty

2009-12-07T21:27:00.001+08:00

Jie Liang was super random and send me this link saying it's nice...
went to watch it.. just to take a break from study for APMC....
quite sad..

2009-11-28T00:35:00.003+08:00

i was showering just now...
and i was thinking of my project thingy when i was bathing...

i conveniently took the conditioner and spread it on my face thinking it was facial wash...
-_-'' i only realized it when i smelt the smell of my conditioner..

cool man...
see the time now and i'm not sleeping yet..
have been online in the afternoon till now..
doing my work... o man.. lots of things needed to be done...

y m i updating blog now?
because i need a break....

super thanks for cheering me up.. =)

2009-11-27T15:46:00.003+08:00

crazy vincent..
he photoshop-ed my picture and it totally look like...
-_-""'
http://mh2263.blogspot.com/
go see the post on November 26..

joke of the day:

me: hey! you know how to go to anot?
Jiayi: duno leh.. nvm la.. i go Bukit timah then say lor
me: huh? your place got no bus to Bukit Timah leh.. come over to my area take bus la..
jiayi: i take mrt lor..
me: you take to clementi also need to change bus wat..
jiayi: i take to MRT to BUKIT TIMAH station..

-__-""

me: WHERE GOT BUKIT TIMAH STATION!?!?!